Wearing a pump - the emotional connection

The other day, we were sitting down to dinner. Dishing up, weighing Janki's food, double checking the recipe carb calculation, pondering how to dual bolus the insulin required. My phone was on the table, I picked it up and showed Janki a photo of the iLet pump. “Wouldn't it be great,” I said, “to have one of these instead of your pump – we wouldn't need to carb count again and we could be eating already!” I smiled broadly and pointed out it looked like her Mum’s mobile phone (which she loves playing with).

Next thing I know, Janki's welled up and I'm peddling furiously to undo / explain what I’d just said... Turns out Janki doesn't want to get rid of her pump; she likes it very much thank-you and she couldn't imagine being without it. [I felt that it wasn't the time to bring up ‘pump rage’ (usually fuelled by ketones and a set and /or sensor change) when, occasionally, she’s threatened to throw the pump to the floor.]

It travels everywhere with her; it’s almost always attached to her (apart from swimming and bathing / showering actually, it’s always attached to her); it even has a name. It “sings” to her, as one of her preschool teachers delightfully put it to her, when it starts alarming. It allows her to snack (more easily), to have a healthy pudding if she’s still hungry, to nudge round a hypo - with the CGM - and pre-empt most of the worst extremes. Using pens without CGM just didn't give that find of flexibility. I almost forgot: the pump also sits in a nice pump pouch – very important.

It’s part of her now.

There’s been plenty written on-line about the emotional impact of T1D and the emotional pros and cons of wearing a pump and the positive and sometimes negatives feelings that reliance and 24/7 connectivity can have. In my little head, I’ll interpret the outburst as positive. It’s not an endorsement of the 640g but it is confirmation that an insulin pump is now part of her and perhaps of some positives creeping through.

So I’d forgotten just how strong an emotional connection there exists between pump and a four year old PWD. A couple of days later, Janki qualified her insistence that her particular pump must stay –

“It doesn't have to be this pump, Daddy”

- “Oh ok...”

“No, we could get the same one in purple if you like...”

- “Right...”

“If we had to change it”

- “Ok – shall we just keep this one then?”

“Yeah, let’s...”

And with that, I put the pump back in its pouch and read them both a story.